So every evening after work I’m writing for two hours, building a piece of a new world. Over the last two weeks I’ve put together a short story ( The Morrigan, you can check it out here if you like: http://wp.me/p3XSzp-2d), and I’ve started putting together the start of a completely separate work. I think it’s going to be my first novel.
I didn’t come to this decision lightly, there have been many page ones, and many first chapters. Never a full novel. Being honest, the only reason for this was my own procrastination and fear of failure.
I am so afraid of failing, and a lot of it comes down to my own self criticism and resistance. I work really hard in my day job, and always try to give 110% I know that’s kind of cliché, but in all honesty, I devote myself to writing in work. I try really hard to improve constantly.
The downside of this is that I obsess over mistakes, and can take it hard when I make mistakes. I’m unhappy with my progression even when things are going really well.
The upside is that this approach to work helped me contrast how I was treating my personal writing. I wasn’t being professional, I was acting as if the personal writing was too much work. In reality, it’s the work that I will leave behind when I’m gone, and I was ignoring it.
No more, I am swayed, I will complete this work. Procrastination can suck it. I believe in myself now, and I’m ready to embrace the pain and rejection and hard work. Toiling on my own words to the point of near madness, drawing up ‘a beautiful mind’-esque spider graphs with imaginary people and places. I’ve started, and I know I will finish.
It’s not going to be easy, but if you think writing is easy, you’re probably doing it wrong.